I have this picture of my daughters. You can see it here, even if it’s a little blurry. They don’t get to spend a lot of time together because since Liza was 14, she’s been in boarding school and now she’s just finished her freshman year of college. Annie has grown up with her sister as a summer event.
I love this picture because they are spending some quality time together. They are laughing and enjoying each other’s company. They are bonding.
They also happen to be looking at one of their phones.
Another time, we were at a Kentucky Derby party and they were huddled together, looking at someone’s phone, deciding where to place their one dollar bets. With their hats on and their beautiful dresses, they looked perfectly regal. I was enchanted. And, I’d left my phone in my purse, so I couldn’t take a picture. Which was okay.
Annie, who is 13, spent over an hour – maybe more – skipping rocks in our friend’s lake. She was picking up and throwing so many that our friend, Karma, thought Annie might provide the sandy bottom to her share of the lake that she’d always desired.
Liza, 19, was hanging with her sister, sometimes in and sometimes out of the water. She caught Annie once when Annie almost fell in. And, she spent most of the hour or so rating Annie’s rock-skipping skill level, much like a sports commentator.
I was loving each and every moment of this rock skipping and commentary. The scores were ridiculous. A single skip was usually a 6 or more. Some poor attempts were negative 1. When Annie tried to skip a rock the size of her head, I think Liza scored it as a -56.
I did take lots of pictures and videos of this afternoon at the lake. I even shared them with Steve, their dad/my husband. He was working in another state while we vacationed.
I’m writing this to present a balanced approach to kids with phones and technology.
I’m writing to come out against tech shaming.
I’m a Gen Xer. Unabashededly. I was born in 1967 and on a good day, I might tell you I remember the moon landing. I grew up in the shadow of rampant technology. I had a personal computer when I was 13. A Commodore 64. When my dad realized the shortcomings of the original system, we got a cassette tape drive so we could save things.
My kids are the kids of Gen Xers. Liza could drag and drop before she was 2. We held off a little more on the computer for Annie, but they are both digital natives.
With this as a background, however, I have come across some serious tech shaming directed at kids by folks from the Baby Boomer generation. They really remember the moon landing.
Tech shaming usually sounds like this: “I’m glad my generation got to drink from the hose instead of being on their phones!” “Share this if you played outside everyday instead of on the computer.” Or, my favorite, which I heard directed at a bunch of kids aged 3 to 10, mostly under 7, “Go outside and play instead of staying inside. You are missing so much.”
As an aside, we now know that drinking from the hose is a little dangerous. My generation drank from the hose, too, but we don’t let our kids do it, because, science.
But, honestly, most kids have a balanced life. In families where kids can afford technology, what makes you think that the parents are such knuckleheads that we don’t make sure our kids get outside and get dirty once in a while, too?
Truly, this starts to sound like parent shaming. “Hey, Gen Xers and Millenials, you don’t know how to raise your kids, so we’re here to tell you to make sure you let them out once in a while!”
Doesn’t every generation have something they do that pisses off the previous generation – especially regarding parenting?
We co-slept with our kids. Yep. In our bed. Until they were about 12 months. That worried people. In some cases it can be dangerous, but we made sure never to drink heavily and had a very firm, non-pillow-top mattress to prevent suffocation. See, my generation can be good parents.
Instead of tech-shaming kids and their parents, provide some cool activities for younger kids to do. Rather than publically shame kids for the opportunities that their parents are providing, try instead to suggest building fairy houses, gardening, or water fights with the hose on hot days. I’m sure you’ll get lots of takers from kids out there.
Just remind them to leave their phones and tablets inside.
And, don’t let them drink from the hose.

Hi. I’m one hour from a new continent:  South America.  It’s an exhilarating feeling.  I’m a little nervous because I can speak Spanish but not understand it so fast.

It’s a long flight but I didn’t feel like sleeping.  I even had my third glass of wine today and I didn’t feel tired.

The map on the screen on the chair in front of me says we’re over land now.  Oh boy!  I’m in Colombian air space!  1 hour and 1 minute now.

And, exactly one hour now.  It will be about 9 when I arrive.

I’ve been watching TV shows, and I wrote a blog post. I tried to listen to the Hamilton cast album, a hip choice for Delta, but it was too distracting.

I’m chugging a diet coke like it’s going to save me.  What from?  Going into the unknown?

I want to buy something meaningful to bring back home.  I’ve heard coffee and chocolate.  I don’t think shoes are a good idea for me.  A leather bag would be awesome.  Maybe jewelry?

Is visiting a new continent worth a celebratory item?  I’m so proud of how hard I’ve worked to get to this point.  It would be wonderful to have something to remember this trip, the hard work, what it took to have a job where I get to go to Colombia to train professors.

46 minutes.  I realized that somewhere a while back, I flew over Cuba.

The flight info shows other cities in the view.  Quito.  Cali.  Maracaibo and Caracas.

I’ve been to Canada so often, I’ve lost count.  I went to Mexico once with my mom.  I’ve even been to Europe twice.

But, this is a whole new continent.

They handed out headphones on this flight.  This time I took them.  I can even charge my phone on the plane.

No contact with home, though.  I didn’t buy internet access on the plane because it was only good for USA airspace.  I didn’t think Annie’s softball games would be over by the time we ran out of Florida.

I can more or less understand the announcements in Spanish and I can testify now that English is much slower.  I believe that I’ll be asking for people to repeat “mas lentamente, por favor.” I also just realized that my texting app speaks Spanish.  ¡Hola!

33 minutes.

Habia un gran tiempo  hasta que ha visitado un pais que habla español.

I think I’m learning the limitations of my texting app’s Spanish vocabulary.

29 minutes.

In order to get the map range wide enough so I can see where I am from, I have to zoom out enough to also see Lagos, Nigeria and Istanbul, Turkey. I think I’m pretty far from home.

The destination time just jumped to 12 minutes.

9 minutes now.

The flights have been roomy.  I had no seat mates from Indy to Atlanta.  On the way here, i had an aisle seat.

6 minutes.

Can I ask them to be sure to stamp my passport?

A whole new continent.

5 minutes.

What do I bring everyone at home?

We’re descending.

4 min.

I can see the lights of the city.

2 minutes!

Dos minutos.

1 minute.

The lights are closer now.

0 min and touchdown.

Bienvenidos.

Welcome to Bogotá!