No More Expert Advice

N.B. I wrote this post a while ago.  Psychologists say that we often do not have ANY idea of what we will think is a good idea in the future.  Future People are often disappointed by the choices made by Past People – whether it’s choosing the vanilla ice cream instead of the birthday cake flavor or – oh my! – that prom dress! 

But in this case, I was quite impressed with Past Person.  In fact, I have been trying to remember this advice since I re-read this essay. 

The picture is of some scaffolding.  The point here is that as we learn, other people “scaffold” for us, help us reach where we can’t get on our own.  It seems that I need to remove the scaffolding now.  Read on.

In a way, I’m saddened to write this post.  I take a keen interest in hunting down experts in a given field and asking them about their knowledge, adding their expertise to my own, ever-growing knowledge garden.  However, lately I’ve been finding myself disappointed by the experts.  I go places where they congregate, and they are ordinary people with no double-super-secret wisdom.  They have no decoder rings or capes.  And, most disappointing of all, they don’t know much that I don’t already know.

I want to have people I can look up to as the experts.  Someone there to guide me when times get tough and the going gets impossible.  These people are harder and harder to find.

Conclusion number one:  I have become the expert.

Conclusion number two:  it’s time to start taking my own advice and do the things I think of in my head.

Instead of looking for expert testimony to solve my worries, I need to recognize that in many cases, I am the expert I’m looking for.  Worried about my kids – well, there’s a PhD for that.  Or a medical doctor if necessary.  Worried about my relationships – I *am* a psychologist, no matter how often I try to deflect and defer that I’m not *that* type of psychologist.  Taking care of myself – I know what I need to be doing and I should just knuckle down and do it.  I flossed for two nights in a row.

Other bigger things I have already off-loaded, like financial planning, car repairs and squirrel capturing.  Thanks to Steve on the last count.

Recently, I began to recognize that this lack-of-expert status applied to my work world, too.  I look to the experts to tell me what I should be doing, or could be improving upon.  But, I see that the experts are just people that know as much as I do, sometimes less, and sometimes only a slight bit more.

And, like in my life, I need to see that I know what to do and how to do it.  Now, instead of using up energy seeking out experts, I will do it. Rather than work on seeking out validation or advice from someone else, I will step up to the plate and be my own expert.